LA vs The Rest Of The World

It's really astonishing the actual number of people who come across my blog via a google search for "hand job massage". I suppose I should be proud that such a noble act is associated with my ignoble blog. If you're curious as to why that phrase links to here, just click.

Anyway, feeling particularly uninspired today. Actually, been feeling particularly uninspired recently. I'm as dull as...a particularly dull thing (see? I can't even come up with an unfunny metaphor). This is why I'm moving.

Well, not "moving", more taking an "extended vacation" from LA. Truth be told, I don't want to come back, but I know I have to career-wise. I would love to go to some cultural epicenter where I've never lived; The Bay Area, Boston, Europe somewhere...but I do have a nice big, Jew-cy apartment in New York a-waitin' for me...soooo, there I will be, for a few weeks in September at least.

I'm hoping that I will be able to write more and funnier there. I think it will be nice to walk into a Starbucks and not observe people having meetings about making a film, writing their scripts or talking loudly on their cell phones about "the deal". I'm so sick of the bland sameness of LA and it will be nice to have long conversations with people who want to talk about life, philosophy and general bullshit. Talking bullshit is one of the great pleasures of life.

Most of my conversations in LA go something like this:

Me: Hey man, how's your girlfriend?

Guy: It's great; she just got promoted to be a creative exec; this is REALLY going to help me get my film made.

Me: Cool. Have you guys been up to anything fun?

Guy: Well, I just had a meeting last week at ICM and I think this guy who directed 4 episodes of "Friends" in 1997 is going to attach himself to my pilot. Do you fucking believe it? "Friends"; this guy will be working for ME!

Me: Right, so have you seen McCain's new ad? What a bunch of bullshit.

Guy (ignoring): So what are you writing now? You know the second you finish something you can get it to me; I KNOW people and could really help you out.

Me: Uhm, I'm just sorta focusing on my own stuff right now, not really trying to write anything to sell until I have a great idea.

Guy: Great idea? Ha! What's that? You just gotta write; why are you fucking wasting your time? You should be writing 5-10 hours a day. I get up at 7, write for two hours, go to work then write for another 5 hours when I get home. Me and my writing partner have completed 4 scripts this year, including the one I just wrote about a An Alcoholic Detective Who's Having An Affair With His Partner called "Private Lies".

Me: What do you know about being a detective?

Guy: You don't fucking get it.

I know I gotta play the game (and I have, to a certain extent)...but Jesus Christ, I need a good conversation.

Anyway, here's a kickass song that pretty much sums it up for me: