Sweet Vagina 'o Mine

Oh dear...

I was all alone this weekend. Not a physical soul interacted with me from Saturday afternoon to Sunday night.

I'm pretty sure when you're all alone your true self reveals itself. What is my true self? Let's examine some evidence:

1) I have Weird, Weird Thoughts of Things That Might Be Funny: Case in point: I'm consistently thinking of things that might be funny to write. Why? I have no idea, my brain's just sorta always been like that. Even when I was a child, I would watch Marx Brothers movies and think "how would Groucho react to a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?", well, anyway, little has changed.

I have no idea where this came from, but after being alone for 12 or so hours, the lyrics to an unwritten song "Sweet Vagina O' Mine" started popping up in my head.

Unhilarious, you say? Well, probably...but when you're alone and "My Vagina Reminds Me of The One Safe Place Where as A Child I'd Douche" repeats over and over in your head (and you can't stop it), nothing seems funnier.

2) I love Listening To Songs Over and Over: Actually, I do this anytime I'm alone. I have no idea why, and I've been criticized in the past by anyone remotely near me...but I just fall in love with specific songs. There's nothing I can do about it. I will literally listen to a single song 200 times (my iTunes says so) until I get sick of it. Currently, it's "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts" by X, but it could literally be any song. If there was iTunes in 1998, they would have tracked "Suffragette City" to about 100,000 plays.

Completely irr-elephant from what I'm saying...I almost cast John Doe, the lead singer of X in my short film when I was in college. My cousin is actually the president of his fan club and I met him at a gig and handed him my script. He actually called me back (no small feat, considering I was in college) and told me "he was trying to get away from his rock n roll persona", which was nice code for "your script sucks, dickwad!". Well, anyway, I did pretty well and some other rock dude was into it. But it probably would have been better with John Doe. D'oh!

3) I Need Noise All The Time: Whether it be Music, TV, Radio (or TV on The Radio) I need to hear sounds all the time. Personally, I think it's to drown out the voices in my head calling me "a failure who should end it all right now", but I could be wrong: It might be just to drown out my gentle sobbing. Either way: it's TEARS, TEARS, TEARS!

I won't even go into the fact that I played approximately 10 hours of scrabulous while watching Intervention and a 1977 Dr. Who story.

Well, I'm not sure what any of these things say about my true self other then I'm a psychopathic loner who hears voices telling him to kill, and upon chance, watch British comedies.