My Michelle Obama Dream

I guess I must have been feeling especially patriotic last night (aided by 4 Margaritas), but I dreamt a complex, feature film-like dream about Michelle Obama, her husband Barack, and a group of kidnappers.

I remember bits and pieces, so here we go.

Michelle and I are sitting at a fancy restaurant. We're old friends and just catching up: I want to know how the campaign is going and she wants to see what's new with me and all our old friends.

I tell her how much I admire her. I explain that I recently saw this video:



and thought it was amazing that she swatted at Barack when he pulled out his Blackberry (it's at around 2:10). I couldn't imagine Cindy McCain giving a shit about John watching a soccer game with her kids in it. It felt natural.

Then, she tells me they knew the cameras were there and it was nothing more than a photo-op. My heart breaks slightly.

Suddenly, she begins to get upset. Michelle is a strong, dignified woman, so she doesn't break down, she just sighs loudly.

"This is such a drag, Matt. I barely see Barack anymore...we're drifting apart."

She presents her hand to me and moves it to my mouth, expecting me to kiss it, as if she was a queen in 19th century England. How can I not?

But Barack is an old friend and I'm feeling kind of weird about the whole thing.

So I go for it and immediately we cut to a TV screen showing me kissing Michelle's hand. The cable news is all over it: "What's Michelle Doing With Him?" "Where's Barack?", Fox News: "She's With a WHITE MAN!".

Everyone righteously upset, and we cut to Barack making a prepared statement:

"Matt is an old friend, in fact I was supposed to be at dinner too. Listen, the guy's no threat to my marriage...didn't you see that video of me and the wifey at the soccer game? We're in love!"

Camera shuts off and Barack shakes his head. What the fuck was Michelle thinking? Why did she involve Matt?

We cut to Barack and Michelle's oddly cramped New York City apartment. Michelle is pacing back and forth.

"God, I'm so stupid. Why did we go out to that brightly lit, hugely populated restaurant?"

I'm still confused.

"I'm not actually sure what's going on, but I love my good friend Barack."

Barack comes home, and looks angry; but before he can say anything, two kidnappers come and hold us hostage. One is played by John Leguizamo, and the other by an equally notable actor. The dream kinda spirals down from there, and I don't remember much, but I do recall thinking "what an odd casting for a kidnapper; couldn't they have found someone less wacky?"

Not sure what the dream was about, but I think it means I need to get more sleep, read less political blogs and stop drinking before I go to bed.