Since I wrote my handjob blog, I've noticed a distinct spike in readership. OK, "readership" isn't really the right word; how's about "men looking for cheap, unemotional hand relief"?
So I thought: "hey, why not include a bunch of phrases that might pique the interest of people searching the internet?". Let's see what happens!
Well, first off, I included the obvious ones: "free iphone", "dark night bootleg", "free porn", "escort service".
For some reason I thought including "Lindsay Lohan naked" was a smart move, but let's be honest with ourselves; she's just a run of the mill crack whore who's about as useless as a vagina in West Hollywood; and I'm being easy on her. (you can read my uncensored thoughts on her in my new book "Pork On My Plate: Confessions of a Guilty Jew").
So, what, pray tell, did I get?Actually, before I answer that, what the fuck does "pray tell" mean? Am I praying you to tell me? Also, who the fuck says "pray tell" anymore? Cockney Bootblacks?Conspicuously Homosexual Butlers? "Pray Tell, Can You Please Insert This Frightening Plastic Moulding Up My Rectum, If You Would Be So Kind!"
Anyway, I got barely any google hits for those terms, though it is worth noting that I continue to get hits for "hanjob massage" and "handjob parlor", which just proves my theory: men prefer a handjob over Lindsay Lohan any day.
Arf Arf.
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