I'm 28 and most people older than me have said:
"I wish I was 28 again. It's all downhill from there".
Which leaves me 356 days before my life inexorably spirals into some sort of Kafkaesque abyss.
I'm unsatisfied and everyone I know is unsatisfied.
We set unrealistic goals for ourselves because our generation is both blindly hedonistic and brain-numblingly lazy; and the only way to actually fulfill all you set out to accomplish is to fight the urge to settle with the mundane; fight the rot that sets in when you find a groove.
We settle for 50% because 50% and complacent is easier that 100% and painful.
Life is full of annoyingly distressing decisions; easy road and leg-stretching relaxation on the couch watching "Curb Your Enthusiasm", or difficult road and canceling cable because you can't afford it.
For example, last year I was offered a six figure job heading up production at a web start-up. I hemmed and hawed for about two weeks and eventually turned it down. I knew that the hours would have been prohibitive, stress high and personal satisfaction nil. I hemmed and hawed for so long because I knew that job could lead to other six figure jobs heading up production for other web sites; but that wasn't what I wanted to do.
In any case, I made the hard decision to turn down that job and, I think, in the end it was probably the right move. For all the stock options and personal power, I think the idea that I'd be doing something I really didn't want to be doing for a living is too much of a downer.
Of course, now that I have a little more free time than I would have, the real challenge is to sit down at my Mac and write. A friend told me recently that he has the following schedule:
7:30-9:30 Running
10-7 Work at Production Office
7:30-11:30 Write Scripts with Writing Partner
Now my schedule is a tad different:
11ish: wake up
sometime before 6pm: stare at my computer, pray to the flying speghetti monster that I can accomplish something
6pm-10pm: "socialize", which in this case, means "playing with my rabbit"
10pm-1pm: google "cute puppies" and "mudflaps", drink whiskey
But the hypothetical situation is set; I'm 28; obviously my last year that I could ever accomplish anything, it's a new year; so there's 11 and 1/2 whole months of saying "at least it's not 2010", and I'm relatively unencumbered with burdensome tasks.
So the time is right to actually accomplish something this year. Not "lose 10 pounds" accomplish, which, although nice, isn't really setting the bar high enough. Don't get me wrong, the gym is going to be a crowded mess for the next three weeks (before all the fatties go back to Häagen-Dazs), but I'm looking for something that's more self-satisfying then "looking good in my Facebook profile".
We're all too concerned about the little things (and this micro-celebrity youtube, facebook, vlog world certainly isn't helping)...
...sometimes it is good to take a step back and say to yourself; do I give a shit about what's going on at Facebook today? Do I really need to worry about work after I get home?
It's time for me and you to stop counting virtual friends and worrying about the guy at work who isn't responding to my emails. It's time for me and you to do something we're proud of.
That or download porn. Either way, it's better then having cable.
If you feel like writing a comment, virtual reader, please tell me what you plan to do this new year...
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1 comment:
Good follow up to yesterday's post. I'd also point your attention to the singer Momus' blog (imomus.livejournal.com), as he comments on a similar topic today.
Last night I was out to dinner in the East Village and as my friends and I settled in, our conversation turned to one big bitchfest. Each person took turns complaining about something: K had too much work and was sick of freelancing, J had to move to his new apartment tomorrow and run across town to pick up keys from the landlord and then wait for a TV to be delivered, M had a coworker who is a real dipshit, I started in on how family is coming in from out of town and it will be stressful.
It's absurd. Here we are making relatively obscene amounts of money and living comfortable lives yet all we can do is whine like little kids. But I've realized that this is simply the great American pastime. We're a country of whiners and it brings us together.
I hate New Year's Resolutions because they're akin to saying "I'll stop cheating on my wife on Tuesday the 28th" but one thing I'd like to adjust about my personality this year and moving forward is my predilection towards complaining. It makes a world of difference physically and mentally to catch yourself griping and instead reaffirm that there really isn't anything to gripe about. Sometimes when I do it, my mood instantly lifts and I realize how silly it was to be stressing over such insignificant crap in the first place.
Pornography also helps a LOT.
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