As over 2 million rabid fans descend on Washington, DC this weekend to hear Barack Obama, we here at Crying While Masturbating are lucky enough to have gotten hold of the full text of his address.
Below is the first five minutes:
"My Fellow Americans, this is our time. A time for peace and unity; a time where we show the profound strength of the American people; a time to define change not just as a slogan or a bumper sticker, but as a tangible call to arms. America; this is your time; this is our time, a time when we are called to a unique and singular duty: to make our great country great again. A time when we restore the greatness of the three simple words: 'I am American'.
America; can we do this? (pause for crowd: "Yes We Can")
Yes we can.
America; can we be great again? (pause for crowd: "Yes We Can")
Yes we can.
America; can we rid this country of the filth that has stained it for years? (pause for crowd: "Yes We Can")
Yes we can.
America; can we detain all Jews in work camps and strip even their children of basic human rights? (pause for crowd: "Yes We Can")
Yes we can.
America; will we brutally and illegally quell the decent of all those who oppose us? (pause for crowd: "Yes We Can")
Yes we can.
(pause briefly as police disperse into crowd and forcibly remove all Jews, homosexuals, gypsies, and all those who oppose).
Yes we can!"
A controversial move, for sure, but Obama is pragmatic; he knows that his rabid base will say "yes we can" if asked a question filled with soaring rhetoric.
As a Jewish Obama supporter that spent time canvassing for him, giving money to his cause, and generally holding his name sacred for the past 18 months, I'm definitely there. Now, the soaring rhetoric will be nice, but can we actually accomplish something? This country is currently lying next to last night's Mexican in the filthiest rest-stop bog on the north east corridor and it needs more than a youtube, "I feel your pain" president.
It needs someone who can Fix It.
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