Shempkin was in love with Wanda Sykes which, to him, was a little strange. Not only didn't he find her attractive, but he was also racist. Still, her shrill wine and consistent jabs at authority turned him on, somewhere deep in the cockles of his heart. At least in the vicinity of where his heart should be (and where now stood a large, black, empty hole).
This was somewhat disconcerting to his wife; she was a soft, cuddly, loving type, but couldn't quite get over his constant infidelities with b-list comediennes. Sure, they were all fantasies that could and never would happen, but Shempkin had called out Sarah Silverman's name every single night of their 7 year marriage (twice Silverman and Ellen, once Silverman and Seinfeld, which gave her pause for thought).
What was Flora Shempkin to do? She loved her husband, but she knew his eyes looked elsewhere. How was she to get his attention.
WAIT.
In a wit of inspiration, she realized what she needed to do: She was going to spice up their marriage by becoming a stand up comedian.
So, she sat down at her computer and tried to write up a routine. She read in a book that the foundation of a funny stand-up comedy was to write out a list of the ten things that bothered her the most. Flora, for the most part, was quite a content and amiable lass, so this did not come easy to her. But, this was a matter of the heart and she was going to try her darnedest.
Flora Shempkin's Top Ten List.
Don't you hate it when:
1) Your husband leaves dirty socks around the floor.
2) Your husband screams out "Barney FIFE!" during climax
3) Your husband cries while masturbating whenever "The Late Show With Craig Ferguson" comes on.
She almost got to number 4, but then she realized something.
To be continued on the next blog...
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment