Pandora Judges Me...

Pandora is a revolutionary 21st-century-type radio station that finally I tried using tonight after having several people (including my 67 year old pop) rave about it for a while.

Basically you tell it what songs you like, and it creates a playlist around those songs. Sounds simple, right?

Not entirely. The playlist is created based around certain aspects of your chosen songs (the beat, the harmonies, the rhythm), but not other, perhaps more important aspects (decade of song, genre of song, if the other songs are good at all). So, when I create a playlist around the layered, ethereal "The Model" by Kraftwerk, the 80s pop-crapfest "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper is the first song that comes up.

Same type of thing happened when I tried to create a glam rock playlist. Bowie's "Suffragette City", T-Rex's "Ballrooms Of Mars", Lou Reed's "Walk on The Wild Side"...what do I get?

A Pavement b-side. Now, I'm as pensive, stop/start dynamic, indie-rock as the next guy, but if I want to listen to fey wobblers singing about tranny sex blanketed in intricately melodic guitar lines, then "Cut Your Hair" isn't my first choice.

Plus, I get the feeling like Pandora is judging me. They have little explanations of why they choose certain songs for you. "Based on what you told us, we're playing this track because it features complex melodies and subtle harmonies"...or whatnot.

Well, I consider myself a connoisseur of fine music; a lone cowboy riding his ear-shaped horse from genre to genre in search of complex, yet satisfying musical deliciousness.

Pandora, on the other hand recommends songs for me because they contain "simple, repeated melodies", "basic rock song structures" and "a dynamic male vocalist". So, Pandora thinks I'm a gay simpleton.

Stop judging me Pandora! Oh, and when are you going to start carrying "Christ Truck"? Get on that...