"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic.

There's something about designing robots that takes me right back to the mid-1980's, watching either this:

or this:

Yes, it is strange that I'm in the process of designing a robot for one of my jobs (got too many to count these days), but it's in my contract. Literally, as soon as I get to an office, I say "hey, you know what would be WONDERFUL? If you had a show about a robot!"

Invariably, the potential employer says "leave now and never return". If they don't, then I know it's a place I should consider employment. Currently, I'm putting together a big ole robot for a major online retailer...maybe it's too many years of Douglas Adams, or perhaps too many years of Dr. Who (in episodes written by Douglas Adams), but, facing the half-built robot, I consistently have the same idle reverie...

Matt: Hey, Robot, what's up?
Robot: I AM PROGRAMMED TO BE SURROUNDED BY AWESOME. MY LAMENESS DETECTOR INDICATES I SHOULD LEAVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
I fiddle with wires.
Robot: WOW, I'M GLAD TO BE NEAR YOU, YOU JEWISH SEX GOD. WHAT'S UP FIRST? NIGHT ON THE TOWN TO FIND SOME FOXY TAIL, OR SHOULD I JUST SIT HERE AND ABSORB YOUR WISDOM?
Matt: Let's dance!
Robot: ENGAGE FUNKY CHIPS. *EVERYBODY WANG-CHUNG TONIGHT*
Matt: Engage Rock Lobster...
Robot: HERE COMES A BIKINI WHALE!
Matt: Hey Robot, let's be BFFs! I shall now program you to be exactly like me.
Robot: NO PLEASE, I VALUE MY SANITY. THE NEUROTICISM ALONE WILL MAKE ME IMPOTENT TO THE SEXY FEMBOTS.

And so on. I believe the fantasy usually leaves me in a fight with the robot where I tell it to divide zero and its' brain explodes.

Why do Super-Toys Last All Summer Long?

If there's one thing I can learn from a robot it's how to destroy all that oppose me. If there are two things I can learn from a robot it's:

1) How to destroy all those that oppose me (duh)
2) How to be an emotionless drone.

Oh well. As Marvin said, "Life: loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."