i look forward to the time when i don't have to look forward to a time

I have been told I look like Tom Cruise too many times to count (I cannot, for the life of me, tell you why), but I have LITERALLY been mistaken for Tom Cruise twice.

First time:

2004, standing in an elevator at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. Visiting the guy who was editing my film, I hopped in a tiny, graffiti-filled, florescent lit elevator.

The only other occupant, a young African-American boy, is staring at me. I can feel him glaring out of the corner of his eye. I'm thinking this must be some sort of gay ritual, and I will have to politely tell him that, while flattered, I'm not into the anal sex with men. I turn around...

"OH! Oh my God! It is you!"
"What?"
"Aren't you Tom Cruise?"
"I'm 23"
"You're not? Oh man, did any ever tell you you look like..."
"Yes"

Next time, I'm in a Blockbuster in LA in 2007. The store clerk is staring at me. College student, I understand, but someone who works at a Blockbuster? Isn't that like a Doctor mistaking a kidney for a pair of testicles? This man should be a movie buff-type person. Oh well.

He stares and stares. Does he think I'm stealing something? No.

"Oh MAN! I thought you were Tom Cruise"
"I'm 26"
"Did anyone ever tell you you look like..."
"Yes"

Now, I am 20 years younger then Tom Cruise and something tells me that Mr. Cruise would not be a patron at a Blockbuster...but there you go.

One time at a bar, I walked past a drunk douchebag, and he tried to start shit with me. Stomping his foot in front of me, he said; "Excuse me...Mr. Tom Cruise!" the same way one would say "Hey there, you fucking huge piece of shit". Since when does getting compared with a world-famous movie star become an insult?

I guess that means I should appreciate the fact that people think I look like Tom Cruise; it's way better than being called Clark Kent (which I have about 1000 times) or Jason Schwartzman (that mistaken identity got me a free coffee once) Personally though, I'd rather look like Matty M.