Wisconsin Offers Very Few Distractions For a Pale, Friendless Virgin

"Welcome to the World of Inconsequence and Banality".

What a life we lead! We're lucky enough to have been born, which is a 1-10000000000 chance, so what do we do? Squander our time farting around. "Did you see the latest '24'?" "No, but because I spent last night counting my rancid hangnail collection!".

If we create religion to ease us into death, we create banality to ease us through life. We THRIVE in banality; because, like religion, it distracts us from the inevitable truth that we are about as transient and meaningless as next season's ABC comedy lineup. Whatever happened to TGIF, for that matter? For Family Matters, actually.

Maybe I'm a pessimist, but the only difference between a pessimist and optimist is that one is a realist and the other is an idle dreamer trying to convince themselves that life is more than a deadening spiral of disappointment leading to inexorable pain and loss. That, or a box of chocolates.

In any case, this is probably why bleak humor appeals to me. Dave Foley has always been one of my favorites; so back in college, I thought I would honor him and one of my favorite NewsRadio quotes.

Here is something I did while squandering my time idly farting around. I think I was about 20; I know that there is a sample or two mixed in with a very cheap drum beat that I wrote with my neighbor's very cheap drum machine.

So, enjoy! I spent about 10 minutes making it into a wondrously craptacular video: