Polls Find White Obama Pulling Away From Black Obama

With voters’ increased confidence in his ability to serve as commander in chief, as well as a majority who now believe he would do a good job as president, White Barack Obama has opened up his biggest advantage over Black Barack Obama in the latest NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll.

With two weeks to go until Election Day, White Obama now leads his African-American counterpart by 40 points among registered voters, 70 to 30 percent, up from 65 to 35 percent two weeks ago.

The top concerns those polled had about Black Barack Obama were his "Socialist Liberal Agenda" and his "Concerning Ties To Terrorist Organizations".

"I just can't trust that Black Barack Obama," said Marylin Schunk of Columbusville, Ohio. "He's an Arab who pals around with terrorists. I don't want him taxing me and giving my hard earned money to homeless drug dealing gay black Communists. As for White Barack Obama; well, I feel like I know him; he's been on the campaign trail for over two years and he seems like a nice, even-tempered guy who'll cut my taxes. I'd love to grab a beer with him, you know what I mean?"

White Obama supporter Norman Stills of Darkiekill, South Carolina says he is most concerned about the economy: "Black Obama is going to tax me. I only makes 42,000! Now, White Obama, he's out for people like me...because he looks like me."

In the survey, White Obama also holds commanding leads on the issues — especially economic ones. He has a 39-point advantage over Black Obama in handling health care (59 to 20 percent), a 21-point edge on improving the economy (49 to 28). Black Obama still leads in "who I'd want on my basketball team" (65 to 29) and "who can dance better" (74 to 12).

As for the electoral count, White Obama leads in every state, especially in the South, where, for example, he's carrying Alabama by a 93-4. Black Obama still leads in Washington DC, 90-10.

With no clear policy differences, analysts are struggling to determine the cause of the giant spread between the two candidates.

"I guess when that hole in the fabric of space time opened up, White Obama brought some of that good old fashion alternate-universe charm about him. People really get a sense like they know him, as opposed to Black Obama, who they still have many questions about, especially in relation to his dubious, America-Hating associations." Says Dr. Arnold Rimmer of Lancaster, PA.

"Personally, I'm not voting for him because I hate black people".