Denise Huxtable: I think NOT

Who the fuck were the Cosby show producers trying to fool? Denise? A member of the Huxtable clan? Why not make George Wallace a black panther - it would be more believable.

First off, Denise is whiter than your teeth after Crest Whitening Strips - that is...kinda white, at least not as yellow as they were after the last disgusting carafe of staining black coffee. I mean, this beautiful specimen is cut from the same cloth as Rashida Jones. Hot Jew mom, sexy Black dad. Have you seen a picture? A side by side?

Could this girl:

Really be the daughter of these two people:

I doubt it. She's more like the child of Natalie Portman:

and Gary Coleman:

Or at least the child of Gary Cole:

and this woman:

Now, as a child of the 80s, I may have spent many o' nights dreaming of what might happen if Denise Huxtable fell into a giant vat of super creamy lard while wearing only her bra and a spandex loin cloth, but I never once said to myself "gee, her parents: Cliff and Clair, would mind".

No! As someone who puts a lot of thought into such things, Denise totally took me out of the reality of the Cosby Show. I was willing to believe that they created a complex socioeconomic world for Theo navigate in under 24 minutes (that one episode where he had to find his way in the world, before he returned to not having to find his way in the world), but Denise, not at least partially Jewish? No chance.

Oh well, I guess I'll just go back to my horrendously inacurate Netflix and enjoy the show:

Philly Doctor? That's almost as big a deal as Denise's quandary - as in, I'm basically the only one who cares.

As an aside, Zoe Kravitz? We're all kinda just waiting for you to sing the Ma Nishtana while wearing nothing but blush, sunglasses and ten pounds of latkes.

Just sayin'.