What is change?

So, it's the end of the year again. It used to be "whoopie! it's the end of the year" and now it's "oh shit, how the fuck did that year fly by so quickly?".

It's a time for mediative reflection, or at least staring at your reflection in the bottom of a glass of whiskey meant to kill the pain.

Either way, I'd rather be drunk.

I'm not sure what has changed between the time I started this blog (at the ripe old age of 24) and now (at the "smells like a ripe banana" old age of almost 29)...but something has.

Looking back on a decade, you can't really tell much about a person. Obviously things change because things basically HAVE to change in ten years.

But half a decade can define someone. What have YOU done since 2005? When I first started this monstrosity, I was living in NY and moderately optimistic about life, the universe and everything...but that's probably because I knew the answer without actually knowing the question.

But 5 years later and things have changed.

I'm living in Los Angeles and very definitely pessimistic about life the universe and everything...but that's probably because I forgot the answer and kept repeating the same question over and over again: "if everyone in LA speaks loudly on their cell phones about how successful they are...then why are there so many unemployable layabouts who have nothing to contribute to society?" I guess that's one of those things that are unanswerable, like why can't science develop a toupee that doesn't look like a dead rat?

Also, why are people incapable of knowing the difference between there and their or your and you're. Is it really that spectacularly difficult? Is it dividing zero while curing cancer?

Apparently change is good, because there is some implication of growth...but I don't see it. change is literally just change and growth is something you find within yourself. You can get up and move out of town, but it's not where you are, it's who you are. We can have a new president, but if they country's still a vacuous shithole...the country's still a vacuous shithole.

So here we are, staring 2010 blank in the face; acknowledging that things will never be like they were before, yet we're still the same; no more privacy, no more secrecy, no more "sorry, I didn't get your message"...but the only difference is people now know we're lying about not getting the message; we're entering an era of absolute connection, absolute absoluteness...one might say the era of "hey, we never realized this, but everyone's actually a douchebag!".

I would say "no thanks", but someone smart would probably point out that I've already lost the argument by writing an entry in a blog (a medium, which ten years ago I shunned with extreme sarcasm and prejudice). I go kicking and screaming, but I always go.

You've changed, I've changed...the idea of "change" has changed. I say, sit back and enjoy the miserable, pointless ride...but just try and keep up, otherwise things can get really awkward in social situations.

Postscript: I've only written in my blog a handful of times in the past 3-4 months, so my blog writing skills have mostly likely rotted away. If you don't get the central thesis of this post, it might be because there is no central thesis.

Post-Postscript: Thesis - what have you done for yourself in the past 5 years? is it a "lot"? Well, what's that even mean? Things might have "changed", but growth is really the important indicator. Have you grown? You have to look deeply within yourself to find that answer. My thought is that people probably haven't grown too much, but we just know MORE about people and demand they share EVEN MORE. So sit back, and give in, because it's only gonna get worse.