All Christmas Songs Were Written By Jews (sort of)

In other news, judging by my "approve comment" queue, Yahoo! seems to be link-spamming now...either that, or people just really excited about Yahoo decided to post comments like "hey, do you know of any good websites? the only one I know is Yahoo!"

Either way, it appears I have nothing better to talk about than whether or not Yahoo! is link spamming. I can only hope your life is as exciting, varied and just plain spectacular as mine, because if not, you're probably even closer to the dark specter of suicide than me.

Kudos to you, suicidal reader!

Anyway, I'm a Jew during Christ-week, so of course all thoughts lead to despair, self harm, and hours upon hours of ordering take-away Chinese food and watching "Seinfeld" reruns. You can NEVER see those enough times.

The only dim glimmer of hope that I have is the knowledge that you, kind Christian reader, are singing songs during yuletide written by yid tools! That's almost a pun, but instead of being a pun, is more like literary vomit. Actually I wouldn't really use the word literary, more "chunky, off-green colored", but you get my gist.

Anyway, it's true, kind sir or madam...we wrote some of your most beloved Christmas songs. This little tidbit of knowledge will probably cause you to:

1) Ban the use of said songs because "that there the Devil's music written by them Jew-types"
2) Sing songs louder to underscore bitter irony of the Jews jubilant embrace of Christmas: our culture is slowly dying do to mixed marriages and gentrification, therefore we have become a willing cog in the very system that has been trying to kill us for 2000 years.
3) Not actually care because they're just stupid holiday songs.

Either way, I'm sleepin' with one eye open tonight!

Here are a list of Christmas songs written/co-written by Jews:

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) - Writers Mel Torme and Bob Wells...Jewish!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Holly Jolly Christmas and Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Johnny Marks was a Jew who specialized in Christmas songs:
Do They Know It's Christmas? (Feed the World) - Bob Geldof 1/4th Jewish...maybe a bit of a stretch, but he does look Jew...ish.
Santa Baby - written by Fred Ebb and Joan Javits (both Jews, Javits of the famous family)
I'll Be Home for Christmas - Walter Kent, who wrote the music and Kim Gannon, who co-wrote the lyrics...JEW!
Silver Bells - Jay Livingston and Ran Evans...you guessed it...
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - George Wylie (not his birth name) is also famous for writing the Gilligan's Island Theme Song
Sleigh Ride - Mitchell Parish who wrote the lyrics, was Jewish and born "Michael Hyman Pashelinsky" obviously.
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - lyricist Sammy Cahn and music composer Jule Styne teh wuz Jewish.
There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays - Al Stillman, the lyricist...
White Christmas - Irving Berlin wrote this one...or should I call him by his birth name Israel Isidore Baline? Nah, that just sounds silly.

Here are a few neat articles that talk more in depth about this:

New York Times - "Whose Christmas Is It?"
Los Angeles Times - "Bob Dylan joins long list of Jewish musicians performing Christmas music"

Strangely enough, Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song" was written by the Alabama chapter head of the Aryan Nation.